Sunday, July 01, 2007

Semen in toothpaste and other not-so-divine secrets of the A-Team

Overheard at a recent gathering of girlfriends:

Renee: "I heard that some of the goods that are imported have poisonous substances in them, so you need to be really careful what you buy."

Us: "Poison? Like what?

Renee: "Like in toothpaste. They put bad stuff in it."

Us: "Yeah, but what kind of poison?"

Renee: "You know, like semen."

A moment of silence

Us: "Semen? They put semen in toothpaste!!??" (the collective unspoken question being, 'Is semen poisonous?')

Renee: "No no! Sement you know, like 'sement pond'."

Us: "Huh? Oh! You mean Cement!!"

(This is the same girl who told me at the Getaway that my belly ache was caused by all the 'grace' I ate.)

I am not making this up. I have a group of girlfriends that I met through my quilting group. Self-named the "A-Team " because of our power to get things done, whenever we get together, we have a rip-roaring, pants-peeing, laugh-until-it-hurts good time. We range in ages from 39 (me) to 60 something. For the past several years, as three gals have turned 50, we have given them 50 gifts 50 days before their birthday, with the instruction that they can only open one a day (This past year, no one trusted our friend Mary, so her neighbor Tracy was recruited to put one in her mailbox every day until Mary noticed footprints in the snow leading from her mailbox to Tracy's house). In the middle of Mary's days of gifts, I jokingly commented to my friend Linda that by the time I turn 50, everyone would be giving me gifts recycled from the nursing home like Depends, denture cream and butt wipes. There are no secrets in a group of women, and being the 'vicious crowd' that we are, it wasn't long before I was teased.
"Tarilyn I bought you a gift today and I'll make sure I put it somewhere that I won't forget when I'm in the nursing home!" Ha ha! I secretly hoped that maybe they would do mine when I turn 40 this December.

It occurred to me on Friday that Charlie's birthday was exactly 6 months before mine. To celebrate such a landmark (and to pat myself on the back for getting the job I wanted), I bought myself a new watch. As it turns out, I wasn't the only one who was aware that I had just turned 39 1/2...

After work, I headed off to what I thought was a housewarming party with the "A-Team" for our friend Linda. After an hour of scintillating adult conversation (see above) and a fabulous meal, I noticed my friend Jill making a weird gesture above her head with her fingers, that looked like she was making horns. I looked at her and asked what she was doing. "Oh, my head itches. I think I have cooties!". Having had a particularly itchy head day myself, I exclaimed "Me too!" and we launched into a discussion about shampoo and eczema. After a few minutes, I saw something in my peripheral vision. It looked like Linda bringing over some large bags. Everyone was looking at me with silly grins on their faces. It took me a second. I looked at my friend Annie and said "OH! Who is it?!!". I looked at each one, "Who? Who is it"? I turned to look at the bags of gifts, and looked back at the table. That's when someone placed a cake in front of me.

"Me?"

"Happy 39 and a half!!" they all said.

Oh my god. They got me. They really did. As it turns out, Jill did not have cooties. She was trying to signal Mary not to forget the party hats. They all decided that they would have a better chance surprising me now than waiting until December. They were right. I couldn't have been more surprised.

Here are the bags of gifts I toted home Friday night.
Here they are all laid out. No! I did not peek or fondle any of them. I did notice several bags from Folly 101 (oh boy!). I rearranged them in numerical order so I don't have to search each day.
This is my day 1 gift from Renee. A sweet little potted Geranium that will live on the windowsill in my sewing room until I forget to water it and then Mr. Strange will rescue it.

This was yesterday's gift. They are all numbered for me! Yes, there is one that is 39 1/2.
Inside #2 was an adorable Vera Bradley jewelry case with a ring in it from Linda! In my new favorite fabric!
As party favors, Mary gave everyone jelly rolls of fabric in neutral colors to make a quilt with. It's a quilt that a member of our group made in neutrals that we haven't been able to stop talking about. Now we each have the fabric to make our own!
I was so inspired by the pink ribbon that I couldn't resist adding a little blush to mine.
This morning, I opened a Blossom Crown from Dee! Isn't it lovely?
It seems that we can keep secrets after all! The other evening, after the big surprise, I decided it was time to confess that I'd been keeping a secret of my own. Friends, meet the blog. Blog, meet my friends:

Last summer in Cape Cod - left to right: (me), Renee (our southern belle), Annie, and WinnieAt the Getaway - left to right: Annie, Jill, Winnie, me, Mary and Linda Betsy at the Getaway
Dee at Cape Cod
With the big job change, I've been feeling a little untethered. This was the perfect reminder that work is just work, but the rest of my life is still here. I feel so blessed these days. As far as the age, after all is said and done, it doesn't matter how old you are; good friends are always the best gift of all.


3 comments:

Knitelly said...

Been out of blogland for a bit, so had a bit of catching up to do! Many congratulations on the new job, what marvellous news.

And what amazing friends you have, that is an astonishing haul of beautifully wrapped presents, and each one you've revealed so far is so lovely.

Glad you are having a happy thirty-ninth-and-a-half birthday! And good wishes to Mr S and his mother.

Yarn Coffee said...

Oh how fun are you and all your friends! It looks like a great group. What a clever and fun way to celebrate birthdays!

Happy Unbirthday to you!

Octopus Knits said...

What fun! You've got an amazing group of friends.